The Contrarian suggest that it is down and dirty in the left/right debate/war,
so let's roll up our sleeves and take sides in this tug of war

or perhaps as the World cup is still with us let set out our teams and playersm, one rule is: 

You can't win the argument by getting personal

conservatives are heartless, selfish, bigoted, cruel, greedy
zenophobes, islamophobes and homophobes and they are uneducated, poisonously nostalgic for the past and exclusively interested in consolidating their own power

whereas conservatives  are moral and shrill with it, ideologues
quasi religious, delusional, myopic, dangerously ignorant of 
society at large and with their student politics blind to what makes the 'real world' tick

So, let battle commence.