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We long to possess and when we do we no longer want the possession

We long to  possess others in order to kill our desire for them because it is so painful.  and in a lot of cases one we have  possessed them we no longer want them, it is only the 
It’s not that we are unrealistic, it’s that reality is unbearably disappointing. Only anticipation is satisfying Love and desire bring out the worst in us – make us craven, servile, arrogant, domineering, paranoid, obsessional, hysterical, distracted and deranged – and yet,  there is nothing else we want except, as Adam
Philips points out,  prestige and the admiration of others, which are desires born of our passionate love affair with ourselves.

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