The catastrophy of certainty, of having a fixed and exclusive definition (let us say that is true of a lot of males - what a burden). For there are very real agonies in becoming one, whole, a certainty.
Men are subjected to a ‘progress narrative’ of going through a stage towards the rude health of heterosexuality
But there are worlds out there where undecidability and transgression are virtues,
However one must not insist on these 'virtues' otherwise they become burdens and even fetishes.