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The Family dinner and the tireless ripostes of self defence

Its Christmas we are ceaseslessly told, from about September, so expect a lot of family discord at the dinner table, all those tireless ripostes of self defence, the strophes and antistrophes that make up Christmas discord.

But you sit down anyway with your undeviating respect for Christmas coventions, It is at time like this we are persons in process.

There have been Christmases in my life after the Turkey had been devoured there reamiined  emotional family blood on the floor.

As to self defence we strenuously deny the things that are most true of us, I continually say the opposite of what I mean, and I do so for effect, even though this more often than not rebounds on me
it is on occasions, like the family gathering for Xmas that I unaccounably sabotage myself. As I seething still becuase someone slighted me, yes, when was it? bout last May and where I tend to give myself away every time I open my mouth thinking naively that the dinner table is a social realm, a generative space for sharabel human thoughts. Wrong!  Consequences from your linguistic offerings generate only foreclosure, in advance. As you can tell I am big on narcissistic self-indictment amd arias of woe is me

This create in me a kind of inner vertigo a fleeting disassociation of who and what I the faux conversational tone continues around me cushioned on mutual lies.

I will help with the dishes before defenetrating myself from the fifth floor.

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