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The pathology of stalking

Stalking, is a kind of crime passionnel. It  confuses our sympathies:

I mean, how do you feel about someone who loves you but wants to ‘ruin’ you; who massages your ego as s/he damages your career; who can be sickeningly offensive one day, and the love lorn the next: : ‘I’m so in love with you , so much in love. Can we at leasst have coffee and talk about 'it'?"

'It' Have coffee! I don't  even know you.

There is a pattern in stalking; the trinagulation for the stalker is as follows:
inafatuation, perceived betrayal, then OK you bastard...revenge.

Stalking is an old behaviour but a new crime,’ the American psychologist J. Reid Meloy wrote in The Psychology of Stalking. Most stalkers, according to Reid Meloy, suffer from what he calls a ‘narcissistic linking fantasy’: intense admiration becomes an imaginary relationship, their life and that of their obsession irrevocably intertwined. Because they’re already ‘together’, (in the mind of the stalker) stalkers are ‘extraordinarily sensitive to rejection and the feelings of shame or humiliation that accompany it’.

There’s nothing new about obsessive love, but celebrity culture has produced a new class of high-profile targets and normalised obsession with them, while technology has made victims more accessible.  These days the stalker has no need to rummage through dustbins,
he or she can be a wholly digital menace. You can be an armchair stalker, a software jihadist. You just know that there is this constant online presence, like ether, hovering over you, as you receive this disembodied blizzard. Stalkers can exercies unseeen powers verging on the occult. Whether all stalkers have a penchant for sadism is an open question.

What happens if you receive toxic missives every day, you feel there is no escape.

"You are a Catholic c...."  But I don't even practise religion. 
 "It doesn't matter, you can't shake it off that way."

Are stalkers propelled by malice or is it chemical imbalance?

Big statistic here is: 90% of stalking is done by men against women

There is a feeling of outrage, anger, anguish, of being violated at the most fundamental level,
for those who are stalked it is a peculiarly crushing feeling.

Stalking cases usually end in conclusive rejection: a restraining order, or some other legally backed reminder to the stalker of their victim’s autonomy. 

But the stalker may feel  that a restrining order or even a prison sentence is a small price to pay.



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