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Yearnings of a lapsed Catholic

It was rumoured of Oscar Wilde  that he was about to join the Roman Catholic church again  and certainly the
Roman ritual had always a great attraction for him.

The daily sacrifice, more awful really than all the sacrifices of the antique world, stirred him as much by its superb rejection of the evidence of the senses as by the primitive simplicity
 of its elements and the eternal pathos of the human tragedy that it sought to symbolize.

Wilde loved   to kneel down on  the cold marble pavement and watch the priest, in his stiff flowered dalmatic, slowly and with white hands moving  aside the veil of the tabernacle, or raising aloft the jewelled, lantern-shaped monstrance with that pallid wafer that
at times, one would fain think, is indeed the "panis caelestis," the bread of angels, or, robed in the garments of the Passion of Christ, breaking the Host into the chalice and smiting his breast for his sins.

The fuming censers that the grave boys, in their lace and scarlet, tossed into the air like great gilt flowers had their subtle fascination for him. As he passed out, he used to look with wonder at the black confessionals and long to sit in the dim shadow of one of them and listen to men and women whispering through the worn grating the true story of their lives




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