The slimy underbelly of having sympathy for others

sympathetic understanding has a notoriously slimy underbelly: it typically reflects a difference in the conditions of the sympathiser and the one in need of sympathy,

The  knower(sympathiser)  and the one whose situation calls for understanding. Even if I know from experience what it’s like for a parents to behave outrageously, the sympathy I have for others who experience the same is about her current sadness and loss, not mine, my sympathy is for her current emotionall turmoil, which I cant really know, I can only know mine.