The Internal Blame Game: How You’re at War with Yourself
Do you have an inner parent constantly wagging their finger at your inner child
Having a shaming inner critic can sabotage your life.
the “inner critic”—the derogatory voice inside you that’s always on your case, blaming you for your deficiencies, whether real or imagined. On the other hand, we have what I’ll call the “outer critic,” regularly provoking your criticism—or anger—toward others, so (however deviously) you can get back at those originally responsible for your emotional suffering
“You are your own worst enemy.” is a kind of self-sabotage that unfortunately so many of us are prone to. the self-disparaging emotion we’re desperately striving to escape is shame—the emotion tied to the fundamental belief that we’re just not good enough: defective, incompetent, worthless, hopeless, and not wanted or desired. So if you treated another person as you sometimes treat yourself
then you would rightfully feel shame.
Criticising others to build yourself up I’m not okay . . . but neither are you!" Although it’s generally unconscious, in this scenario you’re busy putting not yourself down but others, vigilantly searching for ways to find fault with them— you denigrate others in an ongoing endeavor to build yourself up. Otherwise, you vaguely sense, you could fall further down that dark, gloomy pit of self-repudiation, which, misguidedly, your inner critic dug deep for you.
Immunity to Others Through Attacking Yourself with that grim self-evaluation (from what psychoanalysts might call your tyrannical superego), you also needed to look for ways to counter this extremely unflattering assessment. Or at least somehow ameliorate it so that it didn’t leave you in everlasting despair.
one’s inner critic has been described as “attacking you to protect you.”
then you have what is called Additionally,
ih
then you have your “inner underminer.” And that’s the protective part that, conflicting sharply with your taskmaster, urges you not to attempt anything that might challenge you. Here the woefully discouraging—and confidence-eroding—message you’re getting is that since you’ll almost certainly fail if you try something new or difficult, it’s safest to exit the playing field entirely.
Criticising others to build yourself up I’m not okay . . . but neither are you!" Although it’s generally unconscious, in this scenario you’re busy putting not yourself down but others, vigilantly searching for ways to find fault with them— you denigrate others in an ongoing endeavor to build yourself up. Otherwise, you vaguely sense, you could fall further down that dark, gloomy pit of self-repudiation, which, misguidedly, your inner critic dug deep for you.
Immunity to Others Through Attacking Yourself with that grim self-evaluation (from what psychoanalysts might call your tyrannical superego), you also needed to look for ways to counter this extremely unflattering assessment. Or at least somehow ameliorate it so that it didn’t leave you in everlasting despair.
one’s inner critic has been described as “attacking you to protect you.”
then you have what is called Additionally,
ih
then you have your “inner underminer.” And that’s the protective part that, conflicting sharply with your taskmaster, urges you not to attempt anything that might challenge you. Here the woefully discouraging—and confidence-eroding—message you’re getting is that since you’ll almost certainly fail if you try something new or difficult, it’s safest to exit the playing field entirely.
Of course, such premature forfeiture only guarantees the “felt failure” of not giving yourself the opportunity to transcend your present limits
Make you internal critic your internal mentor
In this transformative healing process, you “triumph” over—or rather, moderate—your critical parts.
Liberated in this way the Self can begin to heal your badly wounded child parts, which your various “protectors” have so zealously tried to keep exiled. And the message Self offers these sad, scared, and shamed inner children is that they’re unconditionally loved and acceptable—completely okay as they are. And that they no longer have to worry, or feel guilty, about not being perfect.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/evolution-the-self/201805/the-internal-blame-game-how-you-re-war-yourself
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