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Psychiatry goes to the Psychiatrist.



Psychiatrist:  Do you feel you still have a strong identity?

Psychiatry:  Of course, I am the voice of psychiatry, isn't that enough?

Psychiatrist:  Now let us look at your past...you were born in Europe, Vienna I believe and over the next fifty years you became a kind of Wunderkind....amazing social success for one so young.

Psychiatry:  Well modesty forbids me...but .yes, I had enormous success and influence...started off a bit sickly have to admit, Vienna at that time...used to faint a lot but...

Psychiatrist: None the less as you grew you had a very strong influence on quite a lot of things, I mean institutions like Education, Government, Child-Rearing and the Arts, and your influence even stretched into a few...how can we put it...  raffish areas like Advertising and Councelling.

Psychiatry:  Yes, that is true, especially in America...I was popularised by media types such as Woody Allen


Psychiatrist:  Indeed you became a billion dollar industry.


Psychiatry:  Well at a hundred bucks a throw...that target was easily reached.

Psychiatrist:  Paying someone to hear yourself talk?

Psychiatry:  That's one way of putting it.

Psychiatrist: So, what is your problem today?

Psychiatry: Oh you know...loss of confidence and a feeling I am being mocked for my inability to get provable results. And I kind of hear these  conflicting inner voices and I just get the feeling that  former friends, people who used to be supporters of psychiatry,  are well....you know, laughing behind my back.  Can I ask...I know it is a bit early...but what is your diagnosis.

Psychiatrist;  Well it seems to me that you are suffering from whats is termed,  conflictual anxiety and maturational variations, possible due to your success as a youth...and this is complicated by acute depression. I feel there is an Identity crisis accompanied by compensatory delusions of grandeur and a declining ability to cope. And you seems as a Patient averse to the therapeutic alliance and as your power and influnce decline you has shown yourself to have an incipient over-reliance on drugs.

Psychiatry:  So, what is your prognosis for me?

Psychiatrist;  Well at this juncture, I would have to be honest and say 'problematic'.It is going to take time. May I ask can you afford it.

Psychiatry:  No so sure to be honest. Still

Psychiatrist: Sorry to be blunt...but  I am afraid your time is up. I have another patient.

Psychiatry:  Oh right, right.

Psychiatrist;  Same time next week? 

Psychiatry: Yes, yes, of course.


Psychiatrist;  Well, goodbye,try to keep your spirits up.














Recommended treatment: requires further study.
Prognosis: problematic.















 

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