Getting over anxiety

"Who brings your daily pinta' milk up here?"


"I have an old  Spanish woman who does for me; she is like something out of a Lorca poem; in her seventies she must be now. Still got her teeth a tad blackened and broken but you know they have a history unlike cosmetic dentistry which neuters character. Don't you think?"

"Yeah,yeah.  Teeth...eh...yes, interesting. I have to say that whenever I look out of this window I have to say I get a bit dizzy."
"Oh that, vertigo, its natural, innate...babies have it, place them on any height near the edge and they show anxiety.
"You not an anxious type yourself. Living up here."
"Well, I was...suffered from bullying at school for years...went on 10 years.
"Why was that?"
"It started with my christain name, Vvyan, that was not masculine enough for then, then my hair was too red. So there I was a red headed young school boy with a Scandinavian name."
"An ideal target."
"Oh uneducated kids are geniuses at picking out what might be sensitive or vulnerable areas.
 It is almost biological so well adapted are they at  picking out their victims...they could be predatory spiders.  But my anxiety started at school and it took me many yeats to get over it.
"How did you get over it?
"It is a a long story."

"I once lived in 'Crouch End' a tough aree back then"
"I bet, qhite chi chi these days."
"Do know Balls Pond Road?"
"Can't say I do."
"Anyway that was where my school was. And there was an alley off there...what was it called...
oh I remember...'Lower Horseferry Alley'... the Penny Lane of Crouch End. But that is bye the bye. Anyway I used to steal aong there in my lunch break with my bag of chips and sit there on one of the dustbins looking into the
scrap metal yard. Anywhere was a respite from the buyllying. And then one day five of my worst tormentors came ambling along I thought of running but then I decided I had had enough. Needless to say they started calling out my name.
"Aw look who it is Vivyan Olafson,' little ginger himself,"'
and I just sat there waiting.
"Take off yer hat ginger."
"I said do you know what I have got in my satchel?"
"What is that ginger?"
"I have got a weapon and if you take one step nearer me I am going to use it."
They stopped for a second and I was gone. Haring along Horseferry Alley onto Balls Pond Road
till I got to Crouch End - they never would have caught me because I was 440 yards North London athletics champion.
But whenever I passed there 'Horesferry Alley' from that day I would get very anxious and after years of this generalsied anxiety I deicde to do somthing about it."
"So what did you do?"
"Well, first I had to realise a few things."
"Such as?"
"An anxious thought does not make thought real. I mean I used to think I was going to pass out
I would get light-heasdd with anxiety, but you pass out through a sudden drop in blood pressure, and anxiety heightens blood pressure. My lightheadness was brought about me hyperventilating.
Now I tell myself to slow down, slow breathing, slow thinking.
Anxiety was designed to warn the body of impending danger.
Now I ask myself where is the evidence for this supposed impending danger. I developed skill strategies, stopped thinking catostrophically. I have identified 'non task' thinking, you know that kind
of living in your head and getting rid of patterns like...anticipatory anxiety. One does not have to be passive in the face of anxiety."
"Well thanks, I will keep it in mind."
"So you can look out the window of this Villa as much as you like, you are not in danger.
Enjoy the view."