Yes, I suffer from it too. A sometimes
crippling lack of confidence, low esteem, a yearning for that sense of
belonging; shyness,introversion, inferiority complex, you name it, Oh and I
forgot, pimples,yes and I am follically challenged and vertically and
horizontally and blush and that list is just for openers. So I fall upon
my sword and start reading Dr Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs (see
above)
For Maslow, it would appear all humans
(am I really worthy
of the the term) have a need to be respected and to have self-esteem and
self-respect.
You are right there Albert. Spot on.
Also known as the belonging need, esteem
presents the normal human desire to be accepted and valued by others. People
need to engage themselves to gain recognition and have an activity or
activities that give the person a sense of contribution, to feel accepted and
self-valued, be it in a profession or hobby.
You don't say, well, I am surprised..
Imbalances at this level can result in low
self-esteem or an inferiority complex. People with low self-esteem need respect from others. They may seek
fame or glory, which again depends on others. Note, however, that many people
with low self-esteem will not be able to improve their view of themselves
simply by receiving fame, respect, and glory externally, but must first accept
themselves internally. Psychological imbalances such as depression can also prevent one from obtaining self-esteem on
both levels.
Well, you could blow me down with a
feather....
Most people have a need for a stable self-respect
and self-esteem. Maslow noted two versions of esteem needs, a lower one and a
higher one. The lower one is the need for the respect of others, the need for
status, recognition, fame, prestige, and attention. The higher one is the
neeQuite a list.d for self-respect, the need for strength, competence, mastery,
self-confidence, independence and freedom.
Kind of brick building then? Yeah, I
think I can do that.
The latter one ranks higher because it rests more
on inner competence won through experience. Deprivation of these needs can lead
to an inferiority complex, weakness and helplessness. IN SHORT :- People
need both self esteem, a high evaluation of self and the esteem of others in
our society. Fulfillment of these needs provides a feeling of self-confidence
and a usefulness and their non-fulfillment/ produces feelings like inferiority,
unhelpfulness.
After physiological and safety needs are fulfilled,
the third layer of human needs are social and involve feelings of belongingness. This aspect of Maslow's hierarchy involves
emotionally based relationships in general, such as:
- Friendship
- Intimacy
- Family
Humans need
to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, (you don't
say) whether it comes from a large social group, such as clubs, office
culture, religious groups, professional organizations, sports teams, gangs, or
small social connections (family members, intimate partners, mentors, close
colleagues, confidants). They need to love and be loved (sexually and
non-sexually) by others. (News to me)
In the absence of these elements, many people become susceptible to
loneliness, social anxiety, and clinical depression. This need for belonging can often overcome the physiological and
security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure; an anorexic,
for example, may ignore the need to eat and the security of health for a
feeling of control and belonging.
So then...quite a lot of work to do
for me!
PS
I am sure you realise I have been frivolous here, still maybe there is
something in the above you can employ in your life.
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