Is the bastardised English 'what' Americans speak an ersatz imitation?

Is the bastardised English that Americans speak an ersatz imitation? American use of the English language has deemed that it should have its own Apple Pie orthography,

we say ardour and you say ardour
we authorise and you authorize (yikes)

and  that is only the first letter of the alphabet,

Hey guys, I could go on but I aint gonna.