On being raised by negative example

You could say I was raised by negative example, although my parents were innocent enough.
And I grew up thinking that modesty was a good thing, till someone enlightened and told me my supposed modesty was evasion a failure of nerve.  I thought the way to act was what I deemed to be a mature way, but someone told me that was more of my evasion and my mature way was just a cover for being safe.
"But I do act responsibly don't I?"
"Well acting responsibly can be an act of evasion, you know it can be cowardly in a way."
"Thanks...well at least I have always been realistic about things."
"But what you call realism can be a way of avoiding things rather than facing them."

With friends like these